Every person has an image of his perfect match. This image has particular features that we consider “good” and “right”. It has an appearance that we think is beautiful and attractive; principles and beliefs we agree with; material wealth that suits us. In a word – that’s the Ideal worthy of our Love.
What is Infatuation? Infatuation – is an Illusion that a person we meet in life matches with the Ideal that exists in our mind. Figuratively speaking Infatuation is a perception of real person through the image of your Ideal. Basically, as strange as it is, we fall in love with Ideal subconscious image that we cherished since our childhood, but not with a real person. Infatuation is putting on a mask of your Ideal on a real person and the feeling of short happiness from created illusion. When Infatuation is mutual – the other person behaves the same way unconsciously. He also puts on a mask of his Ideal on you. What comes next? Then comes the real life that has nothing to do with the masquerade we’ve imagined. An interesting thing is that most often lovers imagine this masquerade performance differently without even asking their lover if he agrees to it. People are strange creatures. We’re sure that everything in this life must happen according to our scenario. If that only happened to some individuals – we could proclaim them crazy and feel sorry for them. But since that happens to everyone, like it or not you begin to wonder if you live in a crazy world. In the course of time the behavior of our lover starts to differ from our Ideal because as a matter of fact he never was perfect. And we fell in love with our subconscious mental image but not with the real person himself. We fell in love with the mask we ourselves put on him.
However, it usually doesn’t occur to us that the Masquerade has nothing to do with Love. Many relationships fall apart at this point, because we become disappointed that our lover does not correspond to that perfect mask that we tried on him. Basically when you get down to it – that’s a typical selfish reaction of the consumer on the fact, that mental energy of his soulmate became ‘tasteless’ to him. And just like a little child that consumer says: “I don’t want it, I want something else” and begins an active search for another candidate for “Procrustean bed” of his Ideal mask. The consumer can’t understand the fact, that this masquerade is just the madness of the ego. That’s why usually he keeps on looking for the ‘the tastiest’ till the rest of the life, but finds the opposite, and as a rule he’s back at the bottom of the ladder.
Often there’s a different story. Most stubborn consumers begin the 2 scene of the delirious performance with the same actor…and then there’s a new character called ‘pressure’ shows up. According to the consumer’s scenario, Pressure has to control and finally make the lover match with the imaginary Ideal mask.
Pressure whispers: “We’re going to change this a little bit, cut here, and here put a little more and then the mask fits! Just look at this new Japanese robot doing everything he’s told. That’s what we can achieve if we try harder and control more carefully. It’s not a problem that your hands look like claws and eyes are like security cameras, don’t worry – it’s all temporary and all for love. When he comes to senses then we relax, then we can love easily.”
And then with a light step an unexpected character appears on the scene, the one that wasn’t planned by the consumer. It’s called Freedom. Freedom has been sent by God to take off the Ideal mask from the lover and teach us how to love him the way he is. But disappointed consumer is sure that love is over. He weeps and pours accusations and claims, that’s why he doesn’t hear a voice of Freedom that says quiet but sure from the bottom of a heart, that love hasn’t even begun yet.
© Don Druzhinin
Translated into English by Alisa Reidel